The Perfect Body

This week’s story is a little bit foul and not for sensitive readers.

I’m sure you all know the children’s story where all the organs of the body are fighting about who is the most important; but for those who don’t I’ll gladly repeat it, since there’s so much to learn from it, and my conclusions at the end of the article won’t make sense if you don’t know the story.

One day the body’s organs held their annual meeting and decided to elect a President for the first time ever. Each one got a turn to give an election speech and to tell the voters why he thought he was the most important and why they should elect him.

The Brain was the first one to speak and he explained in no uncertain terms why there should not be any further discussion about the subject. It was quite logical to the Brain that he should be the President. The Heart didn’t agree, of course, and put forward his case in a long scientific speech that quoted Dr Chris Barnard’s research. In the same way the Stomach, Lungs, Pancreas and all the other important and less important organs each got their turn and put forward strong arguments.

When it came to the voting, a thin, wheezy little voice right at the back, in the middle, pointed out that he had not yet made his speech. Everyone turned around and then burst out laughing when they saw that it was Anus who was talking. They ignored his request to put forward his case and went on with the voting. Who would want an Anus as President? Heart won the election and everyone apart from Anus got a post in the cabinet. Who would want an Anus as Minister?

Anus was very unhappy about being snubbed like this and decided to strike. It was chaos! Within a week the Stomach was bloated, the Brain was foggy and the Heart had even begun to flutter. All the organs were in deep trouble and pleaded with Anus to open his door and start service delivery again. He stated his demands and the organs called an emergency meeting. They decided, with a large majority, to end Heart’s presidency and to inaugurate Anus as President. The problems came to an end immediately – or so it seemed, because who can know for sure when an Anus is your President?

About 20 years ago this children’s story took on new meaning for me during a conversation with a priest. I’d confronted the priest about one of his congregation members who was continually bringing the church into disrepute through his bad behaviour; I will never forget the words that the priest used that day. He said, “Brother Coert, we consider the congregation to be the spiritual body of Christ and we consider the Body of Christ to be perfect. Brother Coert, just as the natural body is not perfect without an asshole, so the spiritual body is also not perfect without an asshole.” I was shocked! That was one of the few times that I’ve heard a minister use a dirty word, but I think it was exceptionally appropriate. It struck me like a sledgehammer and I had no further questions. I understood!

Every time I read or experience something that would have seriously upset me prior to that day, the priest’s words come back to me. Like these days, when I read about a certain Youth League leader’s arrogance, .........................

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